After adding the tab “Project Breakup” to the menu on this website; I have published the four main stories that I had written about this experience, to catch up any readers interested in following this project. It is now June – eight months after I shaved my hair. It really has grown – not as quickly as I would have liked, but at least now, I look like I just have very short hair.
And now, as we head into summer, I no longer look like the lady who shaved her head, but someone who has a short summer haircut. So from here, my experience will be just growing it back to the length I like (long) and then to see if I will still keep my natural haircolor.
To do something as drastic as shaving my head, I really never want to put harsh chemicals on my hair again, yet I have been taught to never say never. I actually like the dark ash blond/light ash brown color, and yes, I even like my natural gray “highlights.” But I do feel that I look older. I have had a few people tell me that my short hair makes me look younger, but I always associated short hair with older people, because when I was growing up, most adults kept their hair short.
My hair will have to be long enough to have curls or waves or to pull up, before I decide if I will ever color it again. I had always preferred me blonde, but if after my natural hair color grows out, I think it still makes me look older than I should, then I may consider a few highlights down the road. This may take two years before knowing, because it hasn’t even covered my eyebrows yet.
It seemed when I had longer hair – even just passed my shoulders, that it grew pretty quickly. But when you don’t have hair on the top of your head grown out, it seems to grow as slow as molasses! I can almost hear my hair follicles grunting in aspiration as it pushes out smidgens of growth a little at a time.
But, I still don’t regret doing it. I have talked with women who struggle with their hair (or lack of) and I have learned a lot. It has helped me to be patient too. The most thing I am patient for is ‘waiting to feel pretty’. And, I just don’t. I didn’t want to think my hair was part of my identity, but I think it is. I think for me, it IS part of my essence as the woman I was created to be. No, God doesn’t care if my hair is long or short or blonde or brown, but for me to have the confidence to be the person He created me to be – bold, zany, courageous… I have to have my hair.
So, this is what I wanted to find out, and I have. I now appreciate my hair more than I did. Today, I saw a woman much younger than I, and her hair look unkempt, and scraggly. I remember those days. The days my hair would frizz, or my color faded… I threw it up in a ponytail, braid or under a hat and I just didn’t care for it some days.
Now, I believe I will. Especially if I never color it again and I keep my soft virgin hair. That alone will make a difference if my hair frizzes or not in humid weather. And it will have a healthy look with no fading color because it will be the color God created me to have. I really believe I will love it, and hopefully, I will feel pretty again after it lay on my shoulders.
For now, I guess I have a ‘sporty’ look that is just ‘cute’. I am hoping by August, my bangs will be over my eyebrows and the top will be to my ears. I have been cutting my hairline at my ears and neck until the top grows to my ears, and then I will let the length start growing out. I am sure I will have a few awkward months or so as it transitions from a short style to just growing out with not much of a style until I can bob it all one length.
And then… I want hair as long as Rapunzel.